mulligan’s blog

Recently, CNBC ran this article: http://www.cnbc.com/id/18235454  about what they consider the top twelve resume disasters!

I looked at these and realized that context is everything.  After a lot of hard work I've been able to find most of the people who have a resume mentioned in this article and decided to give them a chance to respond.

1. Candidate mentioned in his resume that he spent summers on his family’s yacht in Grand Cayman.

I know I am a very fortunate individual, so I wanted to give back to the community.  I understood schools were having a hard time finding math and science teachers so I believe my Masters degreee in mathematics might be useful to an area high school.  I did mention that during the summer I am unavailable, but this should not have been an issue, considering the school schedule.
 -- Reginald S.

2. Candidate attached a letter from his mother.

I'm an attorney. I was moving from the east coast to the west coast, during my job search I realized I would need an excellent reference. For the last 10 years I've been employed as a senior attorney at a family owned law firm. My mother, being the managing partner of the firm who directly oversaw my work as well and a highly regarded professor at a top tier law firm seemed like an excellent reference.  
-- Eric F.

3. Candidate used pale blue paper with teddy bears around the border.

I'm excellent with children and have years of experience as a pediatrician. After retiring, I felt like taking a part-time job as a preschool instructor. I thought the teddy bears would be a charming indication of my kindhearted nature.

-- Gertrude H., M.D.

4. Candidate explained a gap in employment by saying he was getting over the death of his cat for three months.

[Applicant unavailable]

5. Candidate specified that his availability was limited because Friday, Saturday and Sunday were “drinking time”.

I was applying for a second job as a waiter. I specified I would prefer weekday shifts as I am a bartender on the weekends, the busiest days of the week are these three days so that's when I make most of my income.

-- Jerry K.

6. Candidate included a picture of herself in a cheer leading uniform.

I'm a professional dancer for the L.A. Lakers drill team. I wanted to offer drill team instruction at a local inner city high school to supplement my income and give back to my community.

-- Susan T.

7. Candidate drew a picture of a car on the outside of the envelope and said it was the hiring manager's gift.

As a professional artist, I guess my generosity got the best of me. I felt the work of art would be a fine addition to his office wall as well as an indication of my talent.

[Name withheld]

8. Candidate’s hobbies included sitting on a levee at night watching alligators.

While researching for my PhD dissertation on how the New Orleans ecosystem was affected by hurricane Katrina, I would spend a number of hours every evening studying how the alligator population responded to the changes.

-- Dr. Henry I.

10. Candidate explained that they worked well in the nude.

I was applying to be a stripper.

[Name Withheld]

11. Candidate explained an arrest by stating, “We stole a pig, but it was a really small pig.”

Ok, so i was arrested. I wasn't convicted. Heck the DA refused to prosecute. And if you had heard someone was arrested, is there anything less intimidating than admitting that you rescued a piglet from an abusive neighbor's home???

-- Patricia Q.

12. Candidate included a family medical history.

The job description required I submit work demonstrating my experience in the field.  Oh yeah. I was applying for a job as a genealogist,  specializing in determining family medical history.

-- B. Clawson